I am sitting at my office and I am not in my very good mood...so I started googling around and was looking for whatever I can read online. I get to a site which offers practically different tips on different things. Choosing to stay on the topic of moving (since I have been asking myself why have I moved from Cebu anyway only to get pissed at people whose views and perspective I couldn't care about!) I found several moving tips. While there are tips which are generics and I have known almost all my life and some I thought were born out of common sense there also new things I read in this site. The movers at Billy section offers me also different options of moving companies in different locations. So this is a trend. More and more resources have become available online giving consumers a wide choices. This is consumer power I would say! LOL
So randomly I started asking myself where should I go to should I move now. I have been prioritizing LA all this time but for today I have a change of heart and had thought of Houston. I have been there several years ago but never had the chance to stay long enough to know the place, now I want to visit it again. So what if I move there soon?! Aha, well, I just have to check out different companies which offer Houston moving services.
But then if only it is as easy as click on the link to check what options I have should I go there. Sigh.
It's a lazy Sunday for me...
My foot still hurts but it's getting better...I really hope the pain go away soon!
I still owe so many people a visit to their blogs...my apologies. I've been sleeping for the most part this weekend...and in fact I just got up and decided to do something...
Please allow be to be lurking...I'm not gone...I'm just here...reading...looking around...just got little energy to make comments...ummm....well, it's more of a brainf*ck thing for me. The moment my fingers touch the keyboard, I'm devoid of thoughts...got nothing to type!
Just one of those days...I'll swing back...I know...and you who have known me here for sometimes knows that too...so please be patient with me as you've always been! ;)
I'm back to doing Unconscious Mutterings...
I say...you think...
Argghhh...
This always happens to me!
I most of the time miss a call...the worst part is, when we do have a clue who just called us? Do we just give a call back outright? Or do we wait for that number to call us back? After all, if it was too important, they would call us back, right?
BUT, what if it was something else?!
Do we just stare at the number rocking our heads trying to guess who tried to call us?
Guess no more! I found a website that allows us to check on a number and get some information about it. Yea right, stop trying to decipher which state and city and caller is from...just log on to Reverse Phone Registry and you get the information you need to know about the number!
It really works...you may want to try yourself! ;)
If you get to check my PC logs...both from work and home...as well as laptops...and internet access via my mobilephones, one might wonder what time of the day I really get to have REAL and meaningful rest/ sleep because those logs will tell you that I'm practically wired 24 by 7!
Today's technology just afforded us way too much multi-tasking! I did mention it in one of my post last week that I'm such a multitasker right? A chronic one at that! I just have all the technology that would allow me to be connected 24 hours a day...and I'm quite amuse and satisfied with this.
But what happens when we become addicted to this connectivity? Do we exclude the other important dimensions of our life?
My pendulum personality would have rushed myself into forming thousands of ways to answer that question...yet I chose to slow down this time and ask myself further questions...
(1) What does it mean to have work/life balance?
(2) What can happen to you when you allow yourself to become out of balance?
I wish I have meaningful answers to those questions. So instead, let me just share with you Stephen Covey's thoughts, but before that I would love to hear yours! Care to share?
I am skilled at making everything look good on the surface, but something isn't quite right. It feels as if the truth keeps slipping away from me just as I get closer to it. And I'm trying to make the most sense out of it.
My mind is tired...my body aches. I don't have fever...but I'm feeling I'm suffering from some sort! Muscle pain is horrific...nothing too serious, yet everything seems to be a discomfort.
I skipped work yesterday to just stay in bed. I had been sleeping most of the time since weekend, waking up TIRED.
My mind is in a race and it is stressing my body!
I'm trying to shelve my mind. I'm trying to make my thoughts STOP. I'm trying not to focus on everything.
Ah, compartmentalization, I beseech you!
This was originally written last Feb. 19 at around 8:27 PM. I wanted to publish this to RealMental, yet while waiting for it to get to that site, I'm publishing it HERE.
...Wednesday!
Finally, Wednesday is here!
So what's the fuss with Wednesday? Nothing really, it's just the middle of the week and I want to post something here...and my brain seemed to stop working the moment my fingers touch the keyboard.
So let me talk about TODAY.
The mid-day of the week is named for the Norse God, Odin. He was also known as Woden or Wotan. Unlike many of the other days of the week, this day did not correspond roughly with the Roman designation for the day. (The Roman's named Wednesday for the messenger God - Mercury - In Romanian, the day is still known as miercuri). The early Scandinavians and Germans believed that Odin was the chief God of Asgard and as such deserved to have a day of the week named for him. The Anglo-Saxons used the word, Wodnesdaeg.
Wednesday is often referred to as "hump day" because of its position as the middle day of the work week. If the work week were a hill, then Wednesday would be the crest. It is all down hill from there. Whether the down hill ride is a coast or a descent into a swamp is left to the individual, as for mine...IT IS fortunately and unfortunately.
By the way, please visit Mariposa's Wordless Wednesday entry - Temptation...
Hope you're week is getting better as you hit Wednesday! ;)
[ADD ON]
I have been tagged by Schmutzie to do a MEME. I love MEMEs! And since today, I'm not just wordless at all...ah, what a timely tag!
The rules:
I grab this from the lovely Abbersnail of Bright Yellow World.
This is a list of 15 things you haven't told to people but have been meaning to...yes, each is addressed to a different person.
I find this exercise cathartic...and maybe you can try this!
Here are the things I've been meaning to tell to some people...
1. Thanks for having me!
2. Thank you for being there with me through think and thin. I'm now beginning to understand you.
3. Thank you for loving me...though you rarely said it to me, I don't mind, because I feel it everyday!
4. I have been thinking you are never ready to go through lifetime responsibilities yet...you seem to be doing fine already. Keep it up! I'm proud of you.
5. You are such a great mentor...you help me become who I am. Thank you for helping me realize that contentment is finding success in the things I already have.
6. You are one person who can make me laugh no matter what the circumstances are and I can forgive you anything because of that!
7. Now I'm not sure anymore how real you are but your existence in any way helps me get by...and I wouldn't have managed to be here without you. Thank you!
8. You are one person who can understand me by a mere look at me, with you I simply don't have to explain myself. I miss you so much and it pains me that we are oceans away...
9. You are a living proof that stupidity can sometimes cure my craziness.
10. If this makes me a bitch, so be it, but I do hope that one day bad karma will bite you in the ass...HARD!
11. One of my greatest fear is that you break my statistics in forgiveness...because I think you are one person I can't forgive and I fear so much that on the day you die, I might have to wear all RED in rejoice.
12. I trusted you...respected you...despite all the mess that I see you do everyday. Working with you is such a blessing, for I may not have the clearest idea on who I want to be, but at least I know I will do anything in my power so I don't end up being like you.
13. You have no idea how satisfied I am to see you go through the humiliation, unfairness and injustice that you made me endure with you a year ago. May you live a long interesting life...to understand what "retribution" means.
14. There was a time I really thought I was head over heels with my hate for you...but now, I can't remember that feeling anymore. You simply don't exist!
15. I can’t believe that we are still friends after all...
What an ideal world it would be if we all were perfectly organized, and thoroughly efficient. All things that have to be done would be done, and people would go about their lives with clockwork precision. There would be a regular monotony of course, but after all, who needs unpredictability, huh? (is that what it's like to live in Germany, land of faultless proficiency??? JOKE!)
Anyway, being painfully human is part and parcel of all our lives, and I must say I admire a person who set targets, defines schedules and meets his goals unerringly. However, I would not want to be that person. Yes, you heard me, no way! I think the spice of life, and the reason why I enjoy being me, is that I am asymmetrically impulsive, wittily hedonistic, and delightfully optimal in the effort I put into life. How do you approach your life?
Let me leave you with a line from George Orwell's classic Animal Farm;~ All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. ~
Every once in a while, I sit down to think. It's strange, and makes me ask if I'm just getting older and that's part of it, 'coz dammit I find myself thinking a lot these days...and I think about decisions I made in the past, look back at them, usually with mixed emotions. As much as I have decided to live by "no remorse, no regret"...there are just some things I have done that I do regret, and have slowly conditioned myself to forget...the very same things that don't let me be both peaceful and happy at the same time.
So when is the day whe I can control both happiness and peace in my life?
In yet another one of those intense thought sessions...I have thought about whether it's all about the flash...or about the stable? I always wish I could have the best of both worlds. The eyecatching, debonair 'flash'...or the solid, trustworthy 'stable'. Will I be the happy-go-lucky butterfly who frittered away the whole summer in pursuit of nectars...or the hardworking ant who toiled stolidly away all along, and the only one left hale and hearty when winter blew around? Am I the persevering tortoise who carried her cross all the way...or the glory-seeking hare that pranced all over, but faded out into nothingness?
So here I sit, first split, then torn...on the choices that I made, and will have to make in the days ahead.
Then, somebody whispers...
...just go in peace and be HAPPY!
Right, I will do exactly that. Wish me luck!
So much to do, so little time...
Today was a good day because the meeting though it lasted for almost 2 hours, it afforded me some good laughs.
Today, though I got to work late and had to get several things finished in less than an hour was good because when I said that something, the person I said it to understood.
Today, though it is the middle of the work week was good because when I said it and the person understood it the ultimate results were exactly what I was looking for.
Tomorrow is Thursday...will I do HNT or try digital thursday?
Five days to go and I will have answers to my questions...if I do get to ask them anyway...five days to compose my questions...five days to paraphrase and rephrase them...five uninterrupted days to prepare for that dreaded and yet anticipated unexplained silence...
For what am I talking about here...only a part of me understands.
Some details were deliberately omitted, some details were accidentally omitted, and some details were neither deliberately nor accidentally omitted. We call those details “included.”
I never learn, do I? Or maybe it's just my true self...jumping all over the place and just a bit puzzled with the backfiring...I realize at some level, that though these shots came out dodged, I am doing what myself purely think is right...in that moment, in that situation....maybe self-absorbed to the point of not gauging or actually, really giving a cupcake as to what the response will be, in that moment, I am my world, yes.
I am a stubborn little optimistic to the end (fortunately or unfortunately), refusing to be or rather as no time to be cynical and or the cynical. I know the world through and through sardonic feline, I leap and managed to land on my feet... :P
I will do it again I know, goof-up, reach out and put both my feet in, take it on the chin, eat the dust and then rise, without a specks.
Time and again, I know, I will be testing my own limits, stretching the elastic, going down down down, plumbing the depths and soaring the next instant. The trajectory just seems never fixed, though some of the streets and alleys look familiar.
As always, I prefer the moody roller coaster to a predictable escalator any day, it's fun being me...
;-)
This morning I was wondering what it would be like if I could just up and leave to a place/country where I don’t know anybody and no one knows me. Start life afresh.
The power of anonymity—go somewhere where there aren’t nosy relatives and so-called friends. Ah, bliss. I crave for new experiences. Fearing the unknown has only resulted in a state of stagnation worse than the unknown itself. This should have been the unknown to be fearful of!! Sheesh!!
I wish there was a good enough reason to want to go away. It's not because I’m famous (I wish) and want to run far from the madding crowd. It's not because I’m running away from something or someone to go into hiding. Guess it's just that I’m tired. Of the life I’m currently leading. Which seems to be stuck in a rut.
And what one longs for is a refreshing change. In all respects. New scenery, new things to learn, new stuff to do. What would it be like I wonder. If one could take off without a care in the world and live only for yourself. I don’t remember what that feels like. I feel bound and tied down. This isn’t a good feeling at all and most of it is my own doing. Having laid my own bed, I am now lying in it. And it ain’t comfy.
There’s so much I wanna do, yet no action is taken in the right direction. So many self-imposed shackles. Wanna break free and fly high. Soar like a butterfly. And before I come out with worse lines, I must get some sleep. Ah, that’s it! Lack of sleep is the cause of all these wandering thoughts.
I don’t want to turn back the clock anymore. An exercise in futility anyway. Even nostalgia is not what it used to be :P Might as well look ahead at the new and the exciting. Until of course that gets old too at some point. Circle of life I guess.
When will I stop saying ‘And I still haven’t found what I’m looking for?’
Moral of the story: Too many random thoughts lead to a random post.
Today, I miss you more than usual.
As I await til you get to me, I prepare myself to receive you and set my focus upon those things that will provide us with comfort and contentment. Though my days often becomes frenetic and stressful, I send my thoughts to Polaris each night that he may deliver them to you as dreams. For it comforts me to hold you in my dreams… cuddling my pillow, I relinquish myself to slumber in the imagined warmth and scent of you.
Tonight, I sit here replete with images of tomorrow and salute you with merlot as well as my most ardent and admiring thoughts. I can almost taste you in the resin that crosses my lips, and I savor the sweet promise of you that spreads through my veins. You are my addiction, my endless delight, and I love you.
I rest in your arms each night in my dreams and listen to your heartbeat, leaning into you and knowing there is no better place than the safety and shelter you provide. My sweet, how easily comes my love to you, for in all things you have been succor, comfort, and nourishment. There is no thing within you that does not echo through me, our spirits dance in slow crescendo of shared joy. You are nectar rising to bless me with sweetness, and by your light I am made complete, made whole. Though we are apart, you are with me, my sweet saving grace. My thoughts, hopes, and dreams spin in slow orbit about you… like binary suns, we revolve ’round one and in one another are reflected in endless perfection.
As always, I hold the image of you gently and with much love.
Have a nice sleep...
1.Life is pain.
2.One must still the cravings for life, which is fed by perceptions and feelings.
3.The cessation of pain, resulting from the cessation of cravings, brings man into Nirvana, and to end the cycle of rebirth.
4.To achieve Nirvana follow the Eightfold Way:
1. Right views;
2. Right intention;
3. Right speech;
4. Right action;
5. Right livelihoood;
6. Right effort;
7. Right mindfulness;
8. Right concentration.
I have always tried to live the Kaizen Way through this four (4) tenents. Life has been difficult since, but I had no choice, this was the way I was brought up.
Last night was another struggle for me. We had our company management team building. It has been a fact that my work has been one of the most humbling experience I've had, maybe because I am forced and have decided to keep up with it and not to quit until I have made the company at least a step closer to the nearest state of perfection as far as process improvement is concern. Why? Because this is what I love to do! For the first time, I do't feel like working at all! But professional life do always put into tests...always, and that is exactly what I am going through right now. So yesterday's activity was a hope for me to make things better for me in the workplace.
With all modesty, I believe I did a very good job. I have approached all members of management with sincerity...I put all my cards in the table, and I only ask for one thing from them - to allow me to be of help to them and to their department in any way. I wanted us to push each othe up, not for anything else but because that is my job. I do process improvement, but I need cooperation to d that.
But what do you do when you are a target of a toxic coworker as I have been?
Yes, I have been "targeted". At first I thought I was just imagining the situation. But yesterday's event made it so clear that truly these types of people do exist!
I was overwhelmed! But I remember the way of the Zen...and one thing is for sure now, adjusting ones perception to the reality might help bring the problem or at least the conflict into clearer focus.
Yes, these workplace issues are real, and it is happening to me, I just try and get through each day and move on, I can only change myself. It seems that there are just some people in this world who have a need to attack others. I just don't understand their motivation though. My guess is that they fear people with personal integrity and they don't know how to get it for themselves, except by degenerating others.
So beginning today, I resolve to:
*Stay focused on my goals. I will be more organized and prepared at all times....and since I'd rather not deal with this individual more than I have to, I will be as efficient as I can to avoid additional and unnecessary steps in the tasks at hand.
*Kill him with kindness. I believe this works in all realms of life with people you might not see eye to eye with. The nicer I am, the harder it will be for him to treat me badly. (Or them for that matter.)
*Get other coworkers involved. I will make sure to include other people in all projects that I will be working on. With other people around, I won’t have to deal with that ndividual by myself!
*Use other forms of communication. Though maybe it's best to call someone to get things done, I intend to send more emails just to avoid dealing with this difficult person. I hope this avoids face-to-face conflicts.
*Give difficult people a second chance. I will not discount a person’s efforts forever if I have only met them once. Some people may have bad days, and it’s quite possible they are not always hard to get along with.
I pray for strength not to retaliate in any way that would belittle my self. After all, true victory is not defeating an enemy, true victory gives love and changes to the enemy's heart.
Yes, life indeed is difficult, it is pain. And I will continue embracing it as it is.
Thank you so much Red for making me remember the way.
I am really grumpy today.
Nothing anyone says is right, everyone I speak to is either annoying me or irritating me. Look at me sideways and I’ll bite your head off!
I need to crawl into a cave and hide there for a few days - you know that expression “a bear with a sore head”?
That just about sums me up today…
A big grizzly bear with a Migraine….
Anyone know of any nice warm caves that I can hibernate in?
