And now for the the lighter side of life at work...still on the same topic...Need to impress someone quickly...and easily? Without any effort?!Ha, take the following action plan! The procedure is simple. Think of any three-digit number; then select the corresponding buzzword from each column.
For instance, number 368 produces "systematized logistical projection", a phrase that can be dropped into virtually any report with that ring of decisive knowledgeable authority. No-one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking about, but the important thing is that they are not about to admit it!
K N O W L E D G E 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only
But:
A T T I T U D E 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %
However:
B U L L * * * T 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
Ha! So, puh...lease....don't promise me more than 100%, because more likely, you are just giving me the 3% extra...and if that is something that gets you to the top...well I certainly don't need it...because bull***t may get you to the top, but it doesn't keep you there too long - let us learn from the presentation below! :p
WARNING: You will find a reason to smile at the bottom of this post. (I hope so!!!) So don't get to the bottom just yet because I need you to read the following text to make your trip to the bottom of this post worthwhile.
Edge Designs is an all-women run company that designs interior office space. And they had a recent opportunity to do an office project in NYC.
The client allowed the women of this Company a free hand in all design aspects. The client was a company that was also run by all women executives...
The result.......well.....
We all know that Men never talk, never look at each other... And never laugh much in the restroom...
The men's room is a serious and quiet place...
But now...with the addition of one mural on the wall...let's just say the men's restroom is now a place of laughter and smiles.
Here is the men's restroom mural...
And they say women don't have a sense of humor?!
This goes to all women who need a smile today and to all men who can take having a little fun poked at them after all they are always trying to poke a little something at us. *wink*
Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another.
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it. ~ I just got this from an email so I can't really acknowledge the owner!
