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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

This Tuesday Makes Me Think

Every once in a while, I sit down to think. It's strange, and makes me ask if I'm just getting older and that's part of it, 'coz dammit I find myself thinking a lot these days...and I think about decisions I made in the past, look back at them, usually with mixed emotions. As much as I have decided to live by "no remorse, no regret"...there are just some things I have done that I do regret, and have slowly conditioned myself to forget...the very same things that don't let me be both peaceful and happy at the same time.

So when is the day whe I can control both happiness and peace in my life?

In yet another one of those intense thought sessions...I have thought about whether it's all about the flash...or about the stable? I always wish I could have the best of both worlds. The eyecatching, debonair 'flash'...or the solid, trustworthy 'stable'. Will I be the happy-go-lucky butterfly who frittered away the whole summer in pursuit of nectars...or the hardworking ant who toiled stolidly away all along, and the only one left hale and hearty when winter blew around? Am I the persevering tortoise who carried her cross all the way...or the glory-seeking hare that pranced all over, but faded out into nothingness?

So here I sit, first split, then torn...on the choices that I made, and will have to make in the days ahead.

Then, somebody whispers...

...just go in peace and be HAPPY!

Right, I will do exactly that. Wish me luck!


Jan said...

I think we are all a little of all those things. We also all think about our past decisions & say say.... if I had done that differently. That is a part of life I guess. We are supposed to learn from the those unfavorable decisions we made & we do most of the time. Sometimes we don't... LOL So enjoy what you have. Enjoy who you are. Life goes on & it's too short to dwell on the past.


Mariposa said...

Thanks Jan! Life is too short indeed to dwell on the past.

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking to that effect today. I always lived by the "no regrets" thing, and then today I thought, at the time, I really didn't have much to regret. What would I have regretted? My prom date?

The twenties are hitting me hard.

anne said...

Very poignant musings, Mariposa. I agree with Jan - live and learn, which is such a cliche, but so true. Life does go by so incredibly fast (like, how is it almost December already?!)

Thank you for your words.

Wholly Burble said...

Regret and remorse are quick-sand traps that pull you into the past. The only way to change one's life is from the present moment. And that is NOW, not then!

If you can truly see something that wasn't fulfilling in your life, learn from it, change your heart about it--and then choose to go on from there. But living in regret, just a trap that drags you back to something you cannot change. It saps the very life out of you, and keeps you from living life to the fullest TODAY.

So flutter those wings butterfly girl, and enjoy today! If you can truly do those things that bring you real joy today, you will be building a book of memories that will carry you through every rough time life may throw at you--and come through it with a smile on your face.