When Friday Feels Like Monday

Surprise! Surprise!
I know.
One of those days. I  need to go back to my comfort zone...and for almost 10 years, this has been my comfort zone. Always has been. Always will be. If I am not blogging, I am reading old blogs then I am me again. :)

Nothing extra ordinary. Nothing monumental. Just me finding myself alone in my office with gazillion of feelings. The good feelings, and the not so good feelings. Ha!

Today is Friday. My week is supposed to be ending, yet it feels like Monday. That doesn't necessarily mean that it's bad. Just not the usual.

For the past 5 years, life has been different. And everyday I reflect and try to understand on who it has become different. Today I came to understanding what has changed. It's not me but my circumstances. The busyness for the past 5 years afforded me to focus more on my career and in helping more people around me. It allowed me to look past my own worries and needs. Yet today, I woke up missing the me spoiling myself. Then I needed to run to the office. Manic Monday blues on a Fly Day it is!

Of course...when Friday feels like Monday, there is only one resolve for me. More Coffee for me!

Not Those Kind of Sundays

It's a beautiful Sunday...and I have been blessed with the rest I needed.
I am also very happy that I was able to celebrate The Feast of Epiphany today.
While my body has been afforded the rest it needed, my mind is not.
I am still full of worries and different thoughts...all the Oh wells...and the what ifs!
So I am sitting in my office...trying to punch some keys and tying to type anything that comes to my mind. I am still not sure if I will ever hit publish. 
You will know. :)

I haven't had my coffee today...and I guess that where I am heading next.
I'm going to that nice coffee shop and will try to spend time with myself. 
Then...maybe there I will do more thinking...

Today is just one of those moments where I find myself in suspension. 
I feel I am caught mid-air...and I am not even sure if I want to get out of it. 
It's not the best thing in the world, but certainly not that bad.

Arrghhh....

I pray for God's mercy to guide me...

I wish you all a cheerful Sunday!

PostSecret...Always Makes Me Cry!

Today, I managed to go home earlier than usual for an early appointment later. I decided to visit PostSecret...and it still makes me cry...for all good and not so good reasons. Today, I've never felt so lonely...well at least for the past months that I've been joggling too many things at work.

I guess I just need a hug...if only I've got someone with me right here...right now.

Screaming Into The Void

For the past days I've been uninspired to come here and write a post. I don't know why. I guess it's just another winter season in my blogging life. Or I guess it's just one of those days when we blame it to the hormones? I wish I know!

Lately I feel so beaten down. I've been having health issues again. I wrote here last time that I wasn't feeling well...and I was able to recover then. After a week it's back again and this time it's worst. My allergic rhinitis is on the loose...giving me colds, hay fever and cough. Last night I was back on my nebulizer again. If there is anything I hate, it's my asthma.

I'm trying to reflect what I've done and failed to do causing my health to be crappy again. I know I've been pushing myself the past weeks but then I've done worst before. Could it be caused by some emotional stress?! I hope not. But then I really don't know.

All I know is I feel so beaten down...inside out.

At some point I feel so alone and empty yet other times I feel the need to withdraw and just spend time with myself. I feel like shouting into the void for I have really no idea what it is that I want to let out. I wish somebody out there can hear my thoughts and can help me understand what is going on.

So for those who are wondering how am I doing...well -- Mariposa is having a less than stellar week!

Is It Morning Yet?!

i can't sleep again
so i'm blogging my @$$ off
hoping to doze off


~ ♥ ~* ~ ♥ ~ *~ ♥ ~

To those who do not know, I'm on EST (US) timezone.

I left work a little past 5 so hoping I'd finally get that sleep I've been depriving myself...or should I say, that sleep that my body has been depriving me. Ha!

I went to bed around 6, and was up almost 9...it's now past 12, and I'm still up. The past days I've only had 4-5 hours sleep...and to be working in the evening just kind of double the stress.

So when I'm up...I'm on the net...blogging! Haiku today seems to short to tire myself...so I figured I needed another activity...so here is my Friday Fill-Ins #125!

1. Moving forward.

2. Born free.

3. My best quality is compassion.

4. I am keen on details.

5. In nearly 10 years, I'll playing with my children in my garden.

6. SLEEP is what I need right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to meeting the IT Guy at the airport and having dinner with him, tomorrow my plans include going to the salon to have my facial and my scheduled massage and Sunday, I want to try that recipe from Jen at A2Eatwrite!

For other fun and wonderful fill-ins, please visit Friday Fill-Ins!

I wish you all a restful Friday! ;)

Mariposa's Kaleidoscope World

Bipolar and the City

Bipolarity

BipolarLawyerCook

Brainucopia

Coming Out of the Dark

Gracefully Abnormal

Master of Irony

Mercurial Mind

Moods & Metaphors

More Than Conquerors

Scenes from a Wasted Life

The Bipolar Blog

The Bipolar Chick

Wild Abandon

Battling Insomnia

sweet evening breeze roars

like a monster ordering

"You go to sleep now!"

Please don't forget to visit other people's wonderful haiku at A Mommy Story!

Just Ramblings...

It's a lazy Sunday for me...

My foot still hurts but it's getting better...I really hope the pain go away soon!

I still owe so many people a visit to their blogs...my apologies. I've been sleeping for the most part this weekend...and in fact I just got up and decided to do something...

Please allow be to be lurking...I'm not gone...I'm just here...reading...looking around...just got little energy to make comments...ummm....well, it's more of a brainf*ck thing for me. The moment my fingers touch the keyboard, I'm devoid of thoughts...got nothing to type!

Just one of those days...I'll swing back...I know...and you who have known me here for sometimes knows that too...so please be patient with me as you've always been! ;)

I'm back to doing Unconscious Mutterings...

I say...you think...

1. Zoo :: animals
   
2. Neighborhood :: community
   
3. Salute :: respect
   
4. Immortality :: life after death
5. Dominion :: power
   
6. Rhonda :: Help Me, Rhonda!
   
7. Parties :: fun
   
8. Prince of Darkness :: Dracula
   
9. Garbage :: we need to minimize
   
10. Standard :: ...what my job entails!
    

This is fun...relaxing...and you may want to try this! Please check out other mutterings as well!

Also, just while checking out Anni's site for her mutterings...saw that she has this wonderful photo meme, Sunday's Sunrise - Sunset Photo Meme, just way to cool for me to miss...I'm a sucker for sunrise...sunset...

So I'm joining it for the first time...and I'd be doing this hopefully every Sunday...



You can join HERE.

The photo below is an old one, since I just learned about this minutes ago...it's from one of my travels in the US years back...

One of the best sunsets in my life...



And with all my many attempts to join Sacred Life Sunday...I finally get to do it today, thanks to this photo!



If you want to know more and read more about Sacred Life Sunday, please click the logo above.

I always love the sunset! There is something so special about it...a chance to recollect all my acts and be ready to face the sunrise for another day.

The Storyteller said it nicely, and let me quote her -- "Let me remember that my problems has been solved." That's one of the many miracles that sunset brings to me. It's a little reminder everyday that God had carried me through another day and that no matter how little I did...I was able to do something...for the people I care...and for myself.

My typing of this post is so timely...the sun has set and darkness just started to envelope the earth. But that should not be looked at with fear, but rather I look at it as a chance to see the millions of stars and the infinity of the universe. An infinite chance for us to live the life we ought to live...we wanted to live...He wants us to live. All of this would not have been possible had the sun not decided to set...had it not decided to rest...had it not decided to rise somewhere else to give another person a chance to start another day.

Every sunset is somebody else's sunrise...how wonderful it is to know.

Hope you all have a great Sunday and is so ready for Monday!

Equilibrium

autumn equinox
the day when there is equal
sunlight and darkness

summer is ending
winter is about to come
time to seek balance

Happy Friday everyone...enjoy the weekend!

Please don't forget to visit other people's wonderful haiku at A Mommy Story!

Friends are Gifts!

It's Thursday once again...another reminder of what a wonderful week it's been!

I missed both Thankful Thursday and Thursday Thirteen last week so I am making sure I don't miss this week...

So many 13 ideas in mind...but for this week, I am making a pause making sure I get to appreciate all the blessing I've been receiving for the past 29 years of my life.

God is good...all the time!

Below are just some of the wonderful things He graced me with for the past weeks...

(1) Somebody sent me a red dress for my birthday! Remember that birthday wish list I did? Yup, I got it...one of the bloggers sent it to me! Thanks very much Sage! And I know somebody helped him with that...so a big thank you to Smiley as well!

(2) An old friend whom I met and had a chance to get to know well is back...I mean, we do chat again...and it just feels good to be in touch with good friends! He always gives me a difference perspective...and I really admire him as a person. I am not to name names here...but JMD, if you happen to flutter by here...please know how much your friendship means to me.

(3) I had dinner with IT Guys friends Saturday evening, and I'd say, I really love his new set of friends at work...I mean his workplace...LOL They are very nice...very humble...and I really feel their sincerity. More than anything, I am so grateful for the friendship they give to the IT Guy, as there are times, I can't be that to him...

(4) Imagine opening your mailbox and seeing something like this --

the time passed me by
the feelings always remain
silence is not change

absence does change all
acceptance may not come quick
feelings do remain

missing you I am
hard this is to say to you
uncertainty rules

happiness to you
forever will the sun shine
so the world sees you

Will it not make you stop and smile? It made me...and I'm blessed to have this friend with me...we this kind of tug of war relationship...but at the end of the day...we know we are friends and that we are there for each other. Hey, YOU, if you read this...thanks for the 'Ku...so so lovely...now buy that Coastal Scents and send it to me so you get another special mention! LOL

(5) Id like to thank fo0sies for all the premium points he passed me in my Tribal Wars account...not only that, he also put order in the mess, he had arranged my villages so well! Thanks sweetheart! LOL

(6) Still on fo0sies, he promised to make me a menu! Yup, he is a chef and he told me he will make a menu and will name it Mariposa...how cool! I am so excited! What a friend...

(7) Sir Flash who had been patient in answering all my questions...including the nonsense ones! He also had been my virtual tech support every time I have issues with my pc and the IT Guy is not around.

(8) I'd like to thank Nancie for always being there for me...and for continually holding me in her prayers!

(9) Oh Jan...bless you for sending me wonderful messages...they always make me smile.

(10) To Susan, thanks for always remembering me and visiting me here. You have opened my eyes to a lot of things...you inspire me.

(11) I'm thankful to ALL of YOU who continually visits my site...you always make my day right. Your wonderful comments always make me smile...and warms my heart!

(12) To Red, thanks for all... I can't say it any better.

(13) To IT Guy, thanks for being a friend!


Everyday is the best time
to give thanks!

Please check Thankful Thursday
and together let us celebrate
all the things we should
be grateful for!



For other 13 wonderful things....please visit Thursday Thirteen!

Storm

my whole being twist
thinking of you, i vomit
die away from me

you promise me X
now you tell me you can't X
and i'm left so pissed

you were my sunshine
but now you are more like
harmful UV rays

regret gains its strength
from delusion of hindsight--
it is a mirage

She...

life is exciting

like a pendulum swinging

with no in-between

always on the go

with not a moment of rest

when she's on her high

then she hits her lows

and everything go downhill

ah, time for her pill

And all seems well now

but like sands through the hourglass

the cycle begins...

a tragic Blessing

paired with a Beautiful curse

she is Bipolar

For more Haiku Friday, please visit A Mommy Story!

Living At Extremes

tragically Blessed

and is Beautifully cursed

I Live at Extremes

Striking Balance

If you get to check my PC logs...both from work and home...as well as laptops...and internet access via my mobilephones, one might wonder what time of the day I really get to have REAL and meaningful rest/ sleep because those logs will tell you that I'm practically wired 24 by 7!

Today's technology just afforded us way too much multi-tasking! I did mention it in one of my post last week that I'm such a multitasker right? A chronic one at that! I just have all the technology that would allow me to be connected 24 hours a day...and I'm quite amuse and satisfied with this.

But what happens when we become addicted to this connectivity? Do we exclude the other important dimensions of our life?

My pendulum personality would have rushed myself into forming thousands of ways to answer that question...yet I chose to slow down this time and ask myself further questions...

(1) What does it mean to have work/life balance?

(2) What can happen to you when you allow yourself to become out of balance?

I wish I have meaningful answers to those questions. So instead, let me just share with you Stephen Covey's thoughts, but before that I would love to hear yours! Care to share?

I need A Vacation Away From Myself

I am skilled at making everything look good on the surface, but something isn't quite right. It feels as if the truth keeps slipping away from me just as I get closer to it. And I'm trying to make the most sense out of it.

My mind is tired...my body aches. I don't have fever...but I'm feeling I'm suffering from some sort! Muscle pain is horrific...nothing too serious, yet everything seems to be a discomfort.

I skipped work yesterday to just stay in bed. I had been sleeping most of the time since weekend, waking up TIRED.

My mind is in a race and it is stressing my body!

I'm trying to shelve my mind. I'm trying to make my thoughts STOP. I'm trying not to focus on everything.

Ah, compartmentalization, I beseech you!



This was originally written last Feb. 19 at around 8:27 PM. I wanted to publish this to RealMental, yet while waiting for it to get to that site, I'm publishing it HERE.

Feast One Hundred & Seventy Nine

Friday's Feast is something I got his from Live From Waterloo. There has many many attempts participate in this fun FRIDAY'S FEAST but only TODAY I have been successful!

Appetizer

Name one thing that is unique about you.
I AM into MULTI-Tasking! That is fortunately and unfortunately...how UNIQUE that makes me not sure...I'm sure other people with mercurial mind gets to do that too! LOL

So I can write/read blog(s) while talking to somebody on the phone, balancing my bank statements, getting ready to BED! Ha!

And to add to that, I HAVE A FREAKING MEMORY! I can remember exactly what a person said...and what she/he wears on a particular day/time five years ago...but may FORGET to do a Meme or TAG I just commit to do yesterday...but then, I might remember it years later. See? Weird!

Soup

Fill in the blank: My favorite _________ is __________ but I like _________ too.

My favorite color is RED but I like BLACK too.

Salad

What type of wood do you have for your home’s furnishings?
Very varied...from NArra, Molave to Mahogany! Those are all hard woods and NARRA is a bit hard to find in the market and is the national tree of the Philippines!

Main Course

Who do you talk to most often on the phone?

Ha, Yummy! Mostly because I just want to bug him...okay, just want to hear his voice...need him to check the bank...need him to passby the pharmacy for me...want him to read a blog I just posted...or want him to come home for lunch because I miss him?! Let's move on before you call me NUTS, oh, you just did?

Dessert

What level of responsibility do you have in your job?

Supposedly "HIGH" level...I say supposed because, I'm the only one person dedicate to do continuous process improvement" for all our centers (read as global!). I report directly to our Operations Director who is based in the HEAD Office. My greatest challenge at work right now is to push the "need for improvement" mindset, as far as allignment of process with policy is concern...and ALOT of other related things. I'm stopping here before I write a book! Bleh!

Happy Friday everyone! Start planning your weekends...that IF you haven't done that yet!

You are welcome to join FRIDAY'S FEAST too!

Mariposa's A to Z

I want to skip Singular Saturday today, I'm doing this Lazy Saturday Meme I got in an email.

So here is my ABC's...

A. Available or single?
Taken?!

B. Best Friend?
Pia

C. Cake or Pie?
Both? ;)

D. Drink of choice?
Make it drinks please...coffee, shandy, tequila and SoCo! Ah, water too! :P

E. Essential Item?
Items - books, computer, cellphone, purse, earrings (I just feel so naked without them!)

F. Favourite colour?
Red

G. Gummy bears or worms?
Neither!

H. Hometown?
Cebu, Philippines

I. Indulgence?

Books,







perfumes,










make-ups







clothes and shoes!









J. January or February?
January, new beginning!

K. Kids and names?
None yet...

L. Life is incomplete without?
Loved ones!

M. Marriage date?
Watch out for it...coming soon!

N. Number of siblings?
One

O. Oranges or apples?
Oranges

P. Phobias/fears? Small spaces...

Q. Favourite quote?
I have a lot...in fact I collect quotations and wonderful sayings, what's in my though right now is - Live each day as if it is your last, learn each day as if you'll live forever...

R. Reasons to smile?
Another beautiful day!

S. Season?
Spring

T. Tag 3 people
Whoever wants to do this!

U. Unknown fact about me?
That I'm into guns...and will fall to that category of "sharpshooters".

V. Vegetable you hate?
Not really hate, something I dislike...and it is asparagus!

W.Worst habit?
I interrupt Yummy when he's talking....thinking I already know what he is going to say soI jump in before he finishes his thought.

X. X-rays you've had?
Chest X-ray, Waters' X-ray

Y. Your favorite foods?
Japanese food...sushi and sashimi!

Z.Zodiac?
The proud Leo!

There you have it, the A to Z of Mariposa! Let me know if you want to try this one.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

High...

delta-9-tetrahydro-cannabinol (THC)

sense of well being and relaxation
feeling of happiness and euphoria
inherent introspective dreaminess
increased appreciation of music
improved conception of colour
perception of time distortion
highly stimulated appetite