Miss Fit

desire to be fit

challenged by my laziness

i need to workout!

Saturday Morning Reflection

I am three hours early for my flight to Cebu.


The airport is strategically located in a way that people waiting for boarding are able to enjoy the sunrise. I was just staring at the sunrise few minutes ago...and while sunrise is a thing of beauty to be enjoyed, today sunrise was different. It allowed all the sunken sadness in me to surface. I have never been so sad in my life. I have never felt so lonely...at least not in the past years. 


While holding back tears I decided to take my laptop out and blog. This blog has been my sweet refuge and it had carried me through for years now...so I'm here pounding the keys...with whatever that comes to my mind...just to have something worthwhile to do...other than being sad.


I am going home to be with my father. And every time I think of him and his illness I can't help but ask God why. I know there is always a reason for everything...but I have to be honest, I still have yet to find His reason for giving Papa his illness. My friends are telling me for everything there is always a reason to be grateful...and they all tell me I should be grateful that this happens in a time I can afford it...and it has nothing to do with finances at all! I have friends who are very supportive and a boss who is just behind me all the way. All these mean so much to me, yet at times when I am alone, in moment like this, it seems that no amount of comfort in the world can make me feel better. Just NOTHING.


I am not afraid of death. I am learning to let go. But I cannot bear seeing my father suffer. And if only I can share his pain I would. But I can't...just not possible. 


All I can do is pray and hope that he gets to have peace and accept what he has, without fear....without blame...without the whys... I want him to be ready.


And what was said in the movie Go Towards The Light that "It's the hardest thing anyone could ever have to do, to help someone they love die." How do we make a love one face death without pain, without fear and ultimately without us?

One Miracle...

I knew something was wrong...

I haven't seen Dad so tired...I haven't seen him weak...and in 2 week time he had grown old so fast.

I have been in several stages of denial...nothing could be wrong. Maybe just one of those days. He had 4 executive check-ups for the past 18 months. Had there been something we should have seen it. The doctors would know...

Yet, all this does not convince me at all. The nosebleeds, the fatigue, the edema, the sugar level...these things are not good signs combined. So I called my Mom and told her to have Dad's liver checked. 

My phone rang...it was the doctor on the other line...he started reading to me the results of all tests and ultrasound...I don't have to hear the rest, I don't have to get the details...Dad has liver cirrhosis. 

How could that be??? He doesn't drink. If he does...only occasionally. He gets regular tests. He never had any history of Hepatitis. Nothing of sort! What caused it??? 

To be honest whatever caused is irrelevant. All I know is my Dad is terribly sick and we can lose him any moment. I am happy to note though that he is still in a "good state"right now. He can walk. He can still travel several miles and go to the farm. He can still do some of the chores... 

Yet...I know that he is no longer how he used to be. 

I am not really sure if I will hit publish as soon as I am done typing whatever is on my head right now. I want to talk about it...and I am talking about it, it's just that I don't think I have told anyone about my feelings about it. You see discussing facts is way different from talking about how you feel about those facts. I just feel I need to tell someone that at some point I am afraid. That I have not been sleeping since I learned about Dad's diagnosis...I just close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. 

I look at Dad and wonder if he is aware....aware that he may leave us anytime. I know it will happen anytime to anyone but I just cannot bear the thought of Dad suffering. Plus...how do you feel someone you love get ready for his time? Did it ever occur to you to ask that question? I did ask myself that 10 years ago while watching the movie "Go Towards The Light", and 10 years ago I prayed so hard not to get into that situation and look where I am now.

And yes I did ask God why. Then I did ask God why Dad? Why like this?

Yet I don't really need His answers. I just need Him to rest His hand on Dad's shoulder. 

Christmas is coming and for most of you who frequent here you know how I love to plan for Christmas. Can you all imagine how difficult it is for me to plan Christmas not knowing what's going to happen in between? 

The doctor said maybe he has 6 months...

Six months.

What can you do in 6 months?

One Christmas...

One New Year...

One Sinulog (Cebu Festival)...

One Valentine's...

One birthday (Dad's birthday is March!)...

One summer...

And then maybe, we will have one miracle.

The Best Company In Times of Colds

...soft, strong and disposable!

I've been under the weather the past days. Kleenex, here is a rose for keeping me company!

Happy Wordless Wednesday everyone!

Love,

Shopping for Eye Wear

Things are slowly settling with me and one of the things that made it easier for me is my new pair eye glasses.

I never thought all the inconveniences I had, okay, maybe not all, but most, were caused by my deteriorating eyesight. Now, my views are way better, I can work better and no more crazy episodes of migraines. At least not as often as before.

I am planning of having my eyes checked again end of this month and maybe I will get another set of  eye wear to make sure I have spare. I want to follow the boss, he has a pair at the office, one left at his house and one he carries around. I guess having it that way will not make me forget nor panic if ever I lose one. Also I am looking for some specific designs and color for variety...hahaha.

Anyway, if you happen to be looking for one, you may want to check online. I have found several stores which offers nice eye wear at very reasonable prices.  What I plan to do is just buy the frame if ever I couldn't find any that will fit my prescription. And while I cannot try it myself, the dimension and the photo of how the frame looks like is more than enough for me to know if it will look good on or not.

Hormones Are Girl's Best Friend!

Have you been under the weather? Having a bad day? Do you go ahead and blame it on the hormones? Most of us would probably blame everything on our hormones, it does not have to be! While it is true that hormones play a vital role in our lives we need be driven by it. We can be independent from it but simply understanding what are these hormones all about.

From infancy, puberty, pregnancy up to menopausal stage our hormones cycles and thus affect our body. It may not bee too apparent at childhood but no doubt even prior to puberty there is already some hormonal change going in our body and it cycles up and down as we reach puberty. In my teens I was lucky enough to have my Mom to guide me. She was very honest and candid to me in explaining the changes in my body. She then introduced me to my Ob-Gyn which I am always thankful for. At an early age I was able to reach a certain level of understanding about women's health. So it was not a shock to me to have some specific cravings days before my period for example. I am also able to watch how my weight cycles up and down. I guess women who are trying to manage their weight regardless which stage they are need to have a thorough understanding of the female hormones, specifically their own. That way they would know best how to handle themselves and would no longer blame hormones for bad hair day, skin rashes and weight gains. There are some online resources which can help women in managing their diet too such seattle hcg.

Remember hormones are not our enemy, we just have to befriend them and one way of doing that is understanding them! ;)

Kissing The Pain Away

Earning money for a living has its own advantages and disadvantages. Getting a job means having to spend your money the way you need and want it. However, working can be very stressful all at the same time. You have to deal with your boss, whether you like it or not. You have to be a little civil with an annoying co-worker. You have to meet deadlines. Other times, you have to work overtime just to deliver on time. Most of all, you have to do your job better than others to avoid getting fired. In this competitive world, mediocrity has no place anywhere at all. One single move and you can be easily replaced by someone who wants your job position more than you do.

Oftentimes, when you start working hard, you start to over work your mind and body as well. Yet, you usually ignore the limits of your body and mind, more often overstretching them beyond their limitations. Working hard should not mean ignoring your health. How will you properly do your job if you are physically and mentally weak? So, take your vitamins, get enough rest, eat a proper diet, do something fun during your leisure time, and take your meds once you get sick.

Usually, when working hard gets really stressful, you start feeling pain on any parts of your body, be it the neck, back, shoulders, or any where else. Don’t ignore the pain. Instead, take Tramadol, known to relieve pain, be it moderate or moderately severe. Usually tramadol 50 mg can take care of it easily.

Where to buy Tramadol? Just visit this tramadolbluebook.com. This site was founded in 2006 by a medical doctor for consumers who want to avail Tramadol at affordable prices. It provides credentials of online pharmacies and lets you compare prices.

Medicines don’t have to be expensive. Getting sick is expensive enough, let alone buying medicines to cure you. So, purchase only effective yet affordable medicines.

Cheap Eyeglasses

Wanting to change those glasses but find it too expensive to do so?

Well I thought the same until I came across this article discussing how we can get cheap quality eyeglasses at Zenni Optical. That article was a review aimed at informing us that we have a lot of options in buying eyeglasses. I went and check this supplier and I was amazed with the many good designs I found, and the most important part, they're all reasonably priced. I was like wow, I can have like 2 pairs so I have extra! Because it was that cheap. How cheap you may ask, well you can a prescription glasses for as low at $8. Now you can hop there and see it yourself.

To Fold or Not to Fold

Not so long ago I talked about the IT Guy himself getting a treadmill. What he got is the fixed one. It's nice...but it eats space. So, right now I'm considering getting a folding treadmill. I know most people would frown over it as in their mind, the fact that it can be folded tells you that it is not that stable and reliable. They may have a point about it many years ago. But companies do learn and they have improved on their designs that even for folding treadmills you can still get that stability you need. I personally would prefer the folded one because it can keep kept away and I save space.

So I have been checking around and saw several nice ones. I am so wanting to get one now! I am so excited with the fact that I only take them out when I am going to use them and get to keep them off sight when I don't need them. I can also set them up wherever I feel like doing my exercise. I can have it at the porch in fact!

I was quite surprise when my friend told me she has not idea about folding treadmill as I thought it is quite common nowadays. For those who are planning of getting one but have issues with space, you may want to try this kind. You can check it out at any Online Sports Store.

The Blue Pills

Everyday I've been getting emails giving me discounts for viagra and cialis? Oh well, I know about viagra, but not with the other one. And ha, I don't need some blue pills! :P

So out of curiosity I ran some quick online queries about viagra. Just want to check whatever will come out and this is what I find. Many male celebrities take it. And some do not mind discussing them in public. Some of the most controversial personalities I came across in my search were Simon Cowell and Enrique Iglesia.

To be honest, I don't see anything wrong taking blue pills. My stand is, as long as it is safe for the person to take, go ahead! And I will never take it against that person, if ever I finds out. In fact, I told the IT Guy that should he get to the phase that he needs some "assistance" other than me, he can have that blue pills anytime. LOL

I am not so sure if anyone can just buy viagra. I believe it is still best to see a doctor though to make sure it's safe for you. I hope people becomes more open about it so that way people needing help will be feel embarrassed about it. I'd rather these issues are dealt with maturely rather than denying it for fears and eventually affecting relationships.

Okay, so that's my learning this afternoon. I still hope they stop flooding my email with viagra stuff.

Bad Cravings...

days before period
gets me into bad cravings
i want green mangoes!

Please don't forget
to visit other
people's wonderful haiku
at Jan's Life!

Ever Heard of Express Medicine!

Healthcare is a very hot topic not only the US but anywhere in the world. Here in the Philippines for example medicines alone are way too expensive for people, not to mention the limited options. So most of the times I order medicines, vitamins and other health supplements from the US. Not only this give me better options but also in a way it will come out cheaper for me.

What I usually do is check for items I need online and order them, have them ship to a friend and that friend of mine will ship it to me. If I do get the chance to travel then I bring them myself.

During the holidays I had enough time to check around and I found this Express Medicine which I really find awesome. This online distributor carries several brands of medicines including those from popular pharmaceuticals and while you enjoy the ease and comfort of buying, you get it a  lower price. That is just sweet, isn't it?

Anyway this online store offers a lot of information about certain drug and all of them are very informative. You may want to check it out and see what it offers you!

Brought to you by: Express Medicine

You Can Still Be a Dad!

I will be sharing today my thoughts on reproductive health. Yes, it's a Friday and I'm so into this topic that the IT Guy is mocking me this early morning.

Anyway, I have friends, male friends for that matter who got themselves snipped several years ago. Now, they're married again and sad to say, having children seems hopeless for them...or at least that how most people would think of. But well, a friend told me that there is now a thing called vasectomy reversal.

That is good news! Really good news, specially that the last article I've read stated that about 6% of men who has undergone vasectomy would eventually want to restore back their fertility. So what is this vasectomy reversal and just effective is this?

First, let me discuss very briefly the process of vasectomy. It is a surgical procedure that blocks the vas deferens, preventing the sperm from flowing to the prostate. This obstruction is usually done by removing a very small segment of the vase deferens and placing small metal clip (or suture) on the end of the vas.

Now, the reversal of this procedure involves another surgical procedure that re-approximates the cut ends of vas deferens to restore the flow of the sperm from the testicle to the prostate and this can be done in two ways: a vasovasostomy or vasoepididymostomy.  To have this procedure accomplished by an expert micro surgeon also adds to its success rate among other factors such health, length of time since the vasectomy was done and others. For the details of vasectomy reversal I encourage you to visit that site to learn more about it.

What I am so excited about is the fact that there is hope for couples who wants to have children and that it can be done safely without risking the life of the man...and looks like its success rates are trending up! Another God's little miracles.

Ace, this post is for you! ;) 

WOOT It's Friday!

It's Friday friends and WOOT it's Friday!

I'm up so early, need to be at the office early for my my 7 o'clock meeting, evening for me, morning for most of you. But of course Friday won't be complete without my Friday Fill-Ins!




1. One week ago I wasn't feeling well.

2. I love watching Small Wonder when I was young.

3. Mama told me there is no limit to what I can do, I just have to be patient and believe.

4. It will always be you and me.

5. Take your time I'm not inn a hurry.

6. Everything will pass!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spoiling myself in bed, tomorrow my plans include working on some photos for my other blog and Sunday, I want to jog!

P.S. I'm happy to read some news at Yahoo about some success on an AIDS vaccine!

Back Pain Relief

One of the things that have been bothering me for the past weeks is body pains.

Yes, I have back pains...and all forms of muscle pains. This is nothing new but I have never gotten used to it. It is simply annoying as most of the times I have to separate “pain” from worry and concern about the “pain”. I just can't seem to understand what is causing it. I get massages every week...in fact sometimes every other day and still I can't seem to kick this pain away.

Today, I found hope! Anyone heard 0f "egoscue"?

Well based on my research, egoscue is a unique and effective program designed to treat musculoskeletal pain without drugs, surgery, or manipulation. Could this be the relief I've been looking for all this time?!

According to my online reads, this process involves a series of stretches and gentle egoscuecises ("e-cises") which is specifically designed for every patient/client. This process strengthens specific muscles and will bring the body back to its proper alignment and functioning the way it was designed. It does that pain free!

I went ahead and look for more information and found a site which offers programs for back pain relief using this technique. This discovery is really making me excited. I've been looking for relief for some time now and I am really hopeful and forward looking to this procedure. They have also outlets across the globe and I saw that they one in Japan. Did I mention that I have Japanese heritage and that I've been looking for a good reason to visit Japan? Maybe this time I will.

Screaming Into The Void

For the past days I've been uninspired to come here and write a post. I don't know why. I guess it's just another winter season in my blogging life. Or I guess it's just one of those days when we blame it to the hormones? I wish I know!

Lately I feel so beaten down. I've been having health issues again. I wrote here last time that I wasn't feeling well...and I was able to recover then. After a week it's back again and this time it's worst. My allergic rhinitis is on the loose...giving me colds, hay fever and cough. Last night I was back on my nebulizer again. If there is anything I hate, it's my asthma.

I'm trying to reflect what I've done and failed to do causing my health to be crappy again. I know I've been pushing myself the past weeks but then I've done worst before. Could it be caused by some emotional stress?! I hope not. But then I really don't know.

All I know is I feel so beaten down...inside out.

At some point I feel so alone and empty yet other times I feel the need to withdraw and just spend time with myself. I feel like shouting into the void for I have really no idea what it is that I want to let out. I wish somebody out there can hear my thoughts and can help me understand what is going on.

So for those who are wondering how am I doing...well -- Mariposa is having a less than stellar week!

I Need To Detoxify!

Ever have that feeling of being bloated for no apparent reason?!

Well I always have that. Actually lately I have this occasional constipation, that bloated feeling and gas or otherwise referred to as flatulence. Pfft!

I know it has something to do with diet...and well I'm a coffeine addict remember? So I'm guessing that has to do with that...plus well we always factor in stress.

To some people (myself not an exception!) these are just momentary stuff and well shouldn't be taken too seriously. But then lately I just read something about these things which I personally find a bit alarming.

Anyone heard "Death Begins In the Colon"? Well I read about it and I realize that these things which I'm been going through the past days/weeks could be something brought about by accumulated toxin in my body. Not a good news. Yet I am happy to know that there are many available methods for detoxification...specifically on colon cleansing. There are special formulas such as Colonix and Toxinout that can help us detoxify and clean our bodies.

I have to admit I know nothing of these formulas yet but thank goodness I found some online resource on colon cleansing. You may want to check it to learn more about detoxification.

Mariposa Is Sick

...please call the Doctor very quick!

I'm off work today due to illness. Pfft.

Okay, let me give you the run down...I have cold...fever...upset stomach...and I can't seem to kick this Bi-ouch! feeling away. (Thanks Jenn for this new word!)

I feel so awful being away from work specially that I was supposed to do an interview with some applicants.

So I guess I will be away from here for days again. (((SIGH)))

Vanity Everyone

Male Cosmetic Surgery is just my topic with the IT Guy early this morning. I had a really long day at work and got a message from him that he's up so why not pick me up instead?!

So on the way to work was nothing but a long discussion on vanity...male vanity at that. Apparently an organization has come up with this MYA cosmetic surgery...and not just for females, okay? MYA simply stands for "make yourself amazing".

Since the IT Guy is so proud of his nose (let's give him credit, it does look fine! LOL) we did not bother talk about rhinoplasty. His hair or lack of it doesn't seem bother him too...so hair transplant was also left out. What we got into is...drum rolling...ahem...tummy tuck!

I met him about 6 years ago and well he had an amazing body then. I'm so fine with how he is right now okay...but he is not. So...I told him...he just have to work on his diet and go back to the gym the way he used to when I met him. (Honey, stop guarding me anyway! Do you thing...LOL)

Then we get to science and the convenience it brings. You know how easily one can have that flat tummy without ASAP. So there is that thing called body reshaping and one of the many things that it does is the removal of fats through liposuction and the tummy tuck.

A tummy tuck only last for about 3 hours (as opposed to months of gym). It just requires and overnight hospital stay...and while it is considered relatively safe, just like any other surgical procedure it requires thorough understanding and preparation. It also helps to know about the procedure, here are more information about tummy tuck.

It may require an amount of money...and my stand is, if you want it, go for it. Just make sure you get the best doctor and it doesn't matter with me if I have to travel as long as I'm assured I have the best care. If I will be in vain, I will be sure I will live long to enjoy my vanity! ;)

Cosmetic Dentistry

...is something I never ever thought I'd be thinking about.

As most of you have seen, I always seem to smile in all of my photos and while I have the sweetest most sincere smile...there are just times I wish they look better. Yes I just happen not to have the most beautiful teeth in the world. Thanks to my Japanese Grandma who never believed in braces. And add to that my stubbornness in believing her and not my low tolerance for discomfort. I can stand pain...never discomfort!

For years I'm fine...as my teeth never caused me any insecurities, thank goodness! Yet, there are times and it's happening lately that I wish my teeth looks better...they're not the ugliest but certainly they can look better. The IT Guy and my friends kept telling me it's never too late to fix it...and so lately I've been doing some research on what options I have.

I saw some interesting online information on cosmetic dentistry. Wow I never considered (or it never occurred to me to even think about it) it as something "cosmetic" before...but since it is focused on the aesthetic part, I guess it is just right to categorize it under cosmetics at some point. So I did learn a lot. I learned about dental veneers and porcelain veneers and what they and what it can do. Veneers can correct misalignment, forms or misshapen teeth, spaced teeth, chipped and crooked teeth and even teeth discoloration! And more than anything, no braces, so no pain and no discomfort (not much I guess!) because there are no shots and no drilling. A quick and easy way to fix your teeth and get that smile if you come to think of it. It even says they’re reversible, so nothing to lose…and a beautiful smile to gain.

So...I think I'm going for this cosmetic dentistry! WooHoo! LOL