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Sunday, July 22, 2007

Healing



Now that we have gotten through
One more fall
I can just admit I've got it all
Cause I do
Cause I've got you
We've crossed these battle lines too many times
It passes through the heart
But it never leaves a mark

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more cure
One more chance that wasn't there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling
Lord I know that Your love is healing

I've kicked around those lines in my head
But I never listened to the words that You said
See where it's lead
Well I know I have it now
Cause You showed me how
And all I had to do
Was just to keep my eyes on You

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more cure
One more chance that wasnt there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling
Lord I know that Your love is healing

(break)

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasnt there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling

Lord I know that Your love is healing

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Mixed Nuts

Today is a lazy day...

I miss the blog world so I did visit some few faves, read Little Pea and she is right with a lot of things..

- Exhausted...but feeling better, is exactly how I feel today.

- The past days, things were just awful and nothing went right, I could rant here about it, but Pea is right, it's ok, because it could have been worst. And yes, it ended well too... (This part needs another entry I guess, I will write about it I promise as soon as I can.)

- I have so many health issues and my doctor's appointments are making me sick all the more...but then Pea said, in spite of it all, life is still beautiful.

I am hoping I don't really have to stay in the hospital today or the next days...so I am following my medication to the dot...besides I do not know if I can still play with my online games if I stay there...yes I am crazy with RPGs and I have found good friends there too....

So this entry looks like a mixed nuts of things that I have not clarified clearly in this blog yet...so I will try to write more later and explain each...

Pea, happy birthday, you inspire people and you deserve the best. Hugs.....

Friday, July 13, 2007

!@%#?^

I've got headache. Not just a headache but a fucking migraine. The kind you wake up with. The kind that makes you wince.

Stupid migraines....and when I get this it only mean one thing, my hormones are RAGING.

I feel such a lunatic, no wonder!

And this is on top of my CFIDS. To make matter worst, somebody with all this insensitivity, still has nothing in his head but to argue with me that I have pneumonia and that is after I tell him million times that I don't have one and it is CFIDS that I am having.

So that means my vacation plan is changed because I can't fucking stand spending my vacation time (something I have to fight like hell in the office) which is supposedly for relaxing and getting better with somebody more neurotic than I am.

So I am not sure not if I am going to LA...but I'm sure I'm going to see Red and do TaiChi with him...and hopefully, it can help me with my CFIDS.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

A Step at a Time

Life has bee in the slow-fast-slow-fast-slow lane....and whether you've noticed or not, I haven't blogged much.

So this week, things really came to a head, emotionally, for me. I don’t really know why - nothing’s really changed that drastically. Maybe it’s just the lack of sleep. But things has been full of crap and I have two things in constant - low grade fever and fatigue.

My relationship seems to be falling to shit once again.

I’m depressed.

I have health issues that I either can’t fix, or can’t afford to fix.

I’m angry at the stupid weather.

Work is killing me...not that I still care though.

Then I know once I again I need a break, need to go somewhere to see a different perspective of the world...then I miss Sydney.

I am processing my papers now. I will go there to study...maybe work a little too...whatever, I just have to go somewhere I can breath.

Wish me luck.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Shout Out

Wouldn't life be perfect if sweatpants were sexy, Monday mornings were fun, junk food was healthy, friends didn't cause drama, guys weren't confusing, nothing was regretable, and good-byes only meant until tomorrow?


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

I Have To Get Well

Today I'm so alarmed with how things are going with my body... It's true I have been sick, but suddenly, I realized that it's not only me, other people can get sick too, and that includes people I care, whom I just thought will be there to take care of me.

So, how do you take care of someone who is not feeling well too but is miles away from you? :(

I have to take care of myself I guess. I have to get well for some people.

And to the one I care who is miles away, please get well and take care! I hope to see you soon.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Sad, Funny and Pathetic

This is how I would describe my state right now.

Staying sick at home gave me a lot of realizations. I'm not searching for perfection, just a more content state or to content/ happy with how things are for most of the time. Emphasis on those last five words! Now, I am like torn between reality and redemption sort of thing...

I have two major issues right now.

1.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
-This line can be applied to me either way. I am not more concern on being the option, but I sure feel guilty to the person whom I just made an option. I would like to clarify though that this was never clear to me until the past days. It's funny how we hurt people we care a lot about without knowing it. Sad but true most of the time. On not minding if I am just being one of his option sounds so pathetic to me. But reality bites.


2.
One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.
-The saddest part is, I do not know when I will ever have the courage to say to these people what I think and how I feel. It's perhaps something to strive for, as long as the striving doe not make the striver (or strivee? duh! LOL) unbearably frustrated!

If at first you don't succeed...give up!!! (Nah...yes...maybe...LOL)

Sunday, July 01, 2007

My Color?!

Yes, getting sick and staying at home with all your meds and nebulizer is far more stressful than being in the office beating a deadline.

So I took another online fun test, got this from another blogger.


What color is your soul painted?

Black

Your soul is painted the color black, which embodies the characteristics of modernity, formality, power, sophistication, elegance, wealth, mystery, style, anger, sadness, remorse, rebellion, loss, discord, confusion, and absorbing negativity. Black falls under the element of Earth, and symbolizes outer space and the universe, and in some cultures black represents fertility and wisdom.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz

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