This is a collection of my striving...
...a constant reminder to myself of both what it means to strive as well as a memorial to each
pass through the fire.
...could also be an archive of my many deaths and rebirths, each one coming a little closer to
being more that perfect FLY, a jubilant creature who is both of made of fragile wings and
unmade in the winds, eternally becoming.
...butterflies, they seemed to be forever doomed to char and diminish, yet ever blessed to know rebirth and the chance to once more strive
...delighting in the truth that, regardless the struggle of the caterpilar, the cocooning, it is never a final torment, only a gateway, a door, a transitory passage on the wings of hope itself.
...this space, through time, will hold both confession and release, it will be a place where wounds inflicted, both self-induced and underserved, are turned to remembrance and lessons for me.
...in so doing, perhaps, regardless of the many mistakes documented, all things will lend evidence of the hope that turns them into lessons and learning, each cycle refining, tempering, and lending strength to rise once more from the caterpilar and face the open challenge given by life… daring to try once more, and find the fearlessness that makes all things of life and its living beautiful.
...hiding my face from the world to permit that much more openness to it, I place memories of various winds upon this common ground as evidence of my tempering sent into the world, even to you, lessons in which this one was charred, crippled, killed, not learning in time to avoid the need for yet another cycle of storm.
...admission of my many foolishnesses, yes, but also testament to the nature of that which is the butterfly in me, that, despite all, the cycle continues, I remain, and even in the knowledge of storm to come, am steadfast and will keep trying my wings.
...it seems at once an arrogance and a strange humility, that regardless of the view, my intent in it remains as it is - to catalogue my life, to share it with whomever cares to view it, and in the process, impart what pitiful, humble insights or lessons it may deliver… both to myself in the archiving and remembrance, as well as to you in the readings.
...beyond this, only to rejoice when joy and gladness flows in me, to weep when soul demands, to ache as time and circumstance require, and to, in all things, attest to all as well as bone, blood, and mind can manage.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
This is a collection of my striving...
Friday, August 24, 2007
Your angel will guard you and protect you,
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I had Yummy sing this on my birthday while we're in the car and we can't help laughing because we can't seem to get the lyrics right...
I love this song for some reason...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I just had the most number of birthday greetings in my 28 years of existence from all over the world!
I would like to thank so many people not in particular order;
- Ma and Pa for all the preparations!
- Yummy for the cake!
- Aunt for the food.
- Cousin Girlie, May Jill, Jessah and Erik for the sweet visit...
- My only brother for being around...
- Joy and Jun for bringing their kids (JR and Angel Mae), you just made my day!
- Friends for flooding me with texts, emails and MSN.
An enormous thanks to all my playmates at TribalWars. Especially to my UNIRO Tribe in W8 and my BOSS Tribe in W9. Guys, I couldn't thank you enough!
To Shadowsinz. who texted me straight from his class in Singapore, thanks! And thanks that you're teacher did not catch you...lol Belated happy birthday to you as well!
To TerrorHurtz, I never expected you to greet me because you don't believe in tradition, but U DID, and thanks a million!
To SMOKYNG, Astarow, Shakir, chris.jakub, Rakra, Paolozza, Metalbear, Noniro and a lot lots of UNIRO members... Too bad the thread was now deleted and I can't mention all.
To death... my hubby and partner in the SamuraiOfLegend games, your online mail was so thoughtful.
To Henrik, aka Permapoks, thanks for the 28 premium points that you sent...
And to JMD, thanks for the friendship.
To LittlePea, thanks for the greetings!
To all I have failed to mention, you are all in my heart! Thanks for making my brithday so memorable and special...
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
I love this scene so much! I'm missing you...
On my birthday, I just want two things;
(1) to paint my nails read and
(2) to dance.
Shall we dance?
By the way the song in the first video is Gotan Project - La Revencha del Tango
And in this next video it's Sway...
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
I’ve been blessed with a keener sense of clarity these days. I can see reasons for things where before there were none. In other cases I can finally see that there are no reasons where I desperately searched for them before.
I have made several realizations and have let go of a lot of things for the better...
That’s not all I’ve realized and learned.
I have learned that...
- Control is an illusion and worry is pointless (even if it’s almost impossible to stop doing it)
- I’ve finally accepted that I have been used in the past and that I allowed it to happen.
- I am weak (spiritually, emotionally, physically)
- I have no patience and I need to change it.
- I have done and given much for what I mistook as acceptance and/or desire.
- I need to trust my instincts.
- Life is too short for an uncomfortable undies.
- I have way too many books on the go and that I should find time to accomodate them all.
- Just because something is bothering me, it’s not necessarily bothering anyone else.
- Even though I might feel centered and even today, tomorrow can and most likely will be entirely different.
- My need to tell people how and what they do consequently makes me feel is for my sake only and I need to suck it up.
- I will never ever be a happy, cheerful girl on a Monday morning.
These are all just for today. Tomorrow I may have forgotten that I’ve learned these things. I may need to learn them all over again. May this serve as a reminder more than anything else.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Hope is a desire with an expectation of an accomplishment.
Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.
Luck is when opportunity meets with preparedness, from planning.
Uncertainty is the only thing certain, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.
Don't plan your future on other peoples promises, only on the promises you make to yourself.
The future has a way of arriving unannounced.
Not to forget,
Facts don't change the world, beliefs do... ;-)
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
I got this from Facets blog and this is too good not to share...
A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agree that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.
The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren.
After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, there was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the island, there was nothing.
Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, a! ll of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing.
Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at hisside of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God's blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.
As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming,"Why are you leaving your companion on the island?"
"My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them,"The first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything."
"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings."
"Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"
"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."
For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us.
Today, my prayer for you for all your prayers to be answered and be blessed.
What we do for others is more important than what we do for ourselves.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
I stole this MeMe from LittlePea...
Here is how it goes...
Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following ...
They MUST be real places, names, things ... NOTHING made up!
Try to use different answers if the person who tagged you had the same 1st initial.
You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.
* Your Name : S****
* Famous Artist/Band/Musician: Sheryl Crow
* 4 letter word: Sore
* Vehicle: Simca
* TV Show: Sex in the City?
* City: Sydney?
* Boy Name: Sean
* Girl Name: Sonja
* Alcoholic drink: SoCo (Southern Comfort)
* Occupation: Software Project Manager/ Screenwriter
* Flower: Sunflower
* Something you wear: Sweater
* Celebrity: Sandra Bullock
* Something found in a kitchen: Salt
* Reason for Being Late: Super lazy to get ready on time...?
* Cartoon Character: Snow White?!?
I invite everyone to try it...