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Monday, October 15, 2007

The Deafening Sounds of Silence

This morning I was wondering what it would be like if I could just up and leave to a place/country where I don’t know anybody and no one knows me. Start life afresh.

The power of anonymity—go somewhere where there aren’t nosy relatives and so-called friends. Ah, bliss. I crave for new experiences. Fearing the unknown has only resulted in a state of stagnation worse than the unknown itself. This should have been the unknown to be fearful of!! Sheesh!!
I wish there was a good enough reason to want to go away. It's not because I’m famous (I wish) and want to run far from the madding crowd. It's not because I’m running away from something or someone to go into hiding. Guess it's just that I’m tired. Of the life I’m currently leading. Which seems to be stuck in a rut.

And what one longs for is a refreshing change. In all respects. New scenery, new things to learn, new stuff to do. What would it be like I wonder. If one could take off without a care in the world and live only for yourself. I don’t remember what that feels like. I feel bound and tied down. This isn’t a good feeling at all and most of it is my own doing. Having laid my own bed, I am now lying in it. And it ain’t comfy.

There’s so much I wanna do, yet no action is taken in the right direction. So many self-imposed shackles. Wanna break free and fly high. Soar like a butterfly. And before I come out with worse lines, I must get some sleep. Ah, that’s it! Lack of sleep is the cause of all these wandering thoughts.

I don’t want to turn back the clock anymore. An exercise in futility anyway. Even nostalgia is not what it used to be :P Might as well look ahead at the new and the exciting. Until of course that gets old too at some point. Circle of life I guess.

When will I stop saying ‘And I still haven’t found what I’m looking for?’

Moral of the story: Too many random thoughts lead to a random post.

1 comment:

MsLittlePea said...

Not random. Actually this is something I say to myself all the time. A new start is always something sweet to think about. When one is completely anonymous, there is no worry of failure or ridicule. It's a great way to get to know one's self. I tried it once. I'll be honest though, it got lonely. And then I realized how much I loved my home ....