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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Screaming Into The Void

For the past days I've been uninspired to come here and write a post. I don't know why. I guess it's just another winter season in my blogging life. Or I guess it's just one of those days when we blame it to the hormones? I wish I know!

Lately I feel so beaten down. I've been having health issues again. I wrote here last time that I wasn't feeling well...and I was able to recover then. After a week it's back again and this time it's worst. My allergic rhinitis is on the me colds, hay fever and cough. Last night I was back on my nebulizer again. If there is anything I hate, it's my asthma.

I'm trying to reflect what I've done and failed to do causing my health to be crappy again. I know I've been pushing myself the past weeks but then I've done worst before. Could it be caused by some emotional stress?! I hope not. But then I really don't know.

All I know is I feel so beaten down...inside out.

At some point I feel so alone and empty yet other times I feel the need to withdraw and just spend time with myself. I feel like shouting into the void for I have really no idea what it is that I want to let out. I wish somebody out there can hear my thoughts and can help me understand what is going on.

So for those who are wondering how am I doing...well -- Mariposa is having a less than stellar week!


broca's area said...

tc of urself and asthma:)..i can understand how it feels...i sometimes get these asthma type cough and it just sucks my blood...

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear that my friend. I wouldn't worry about blogging until you get back up 100%. I know you will. It just takes a while to get over it sometimes. Take care. My thoughts are with you :)

sbwrites said...

Looks like the two of us are kind of down in the dumps together. Sorry, you've been feeling poorly. Hope you feel better soon!


Gabriel said...

I'm very sorry to read that you're not doing too well, Mariposa. Just take all the time you need for yourself. As a former co-worker always used to tell me:

1) Health
2) Family
3) Work

Take care!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that you've been sick. I too had respiratory problems, which caused me to miss work all of last week. Maybe it's just THAT time of the year.

I completely understand what you mean about feeling alone and empty inside, even though you are the one who has withdrawn. I pull back into my shell every few months, and it seems to help me clear my head. However, I check my inbox during those times, and wonder why certain special friends haven't written to me...but, I suppose that I can't expect them to make a special effort, if I'm not willing to do so at the time.

You will find that your real friends will try to understand your absence, and will be patiently waiting for your return, right where you need them to be.