Sad, Funny and Pathetic

This is how I would describe my state right now.

Staying sick at home gave me a lot of realizations. I'm not searching for perfection, just a more content state or to content/ happy with how things are for most of the time. Emphasis on those last five words! Now, I am like torn between reality and redemption sort of thing...

I have two major issues right now.

1. Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
-This line can be applied to me either way. I am not more concern on being the option, but I sure feel guilty to the person whom I just made an option. I would like to clarify though that this was never clear to me until the past days. It's funny how we hurt people we care a lot about without knowing it. Sad but true most of the time. On not minding if I am just being one of his option sounds so pathetic to me. But reality bites.


2. One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.
-The saddest part is, I do not know when I will ever have the courage to say to these people what I think and how I feel. It's perhaps something to strive for, as long as the striving doe not make the striver (or strivee? duh! LOL) unbearably frustrated!

If at first you don't succeed...give up!!! (Nah...yes...maybe...LOL)