ss_blog_claim=5555364cf3e98c39578eb4fbc35f307a ss_blog_claim=5555364cf3e98c39578eb4fbc35f307a

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Try Again...

I have started making the list of 5...something I have commited myself to do. Yes, I decided to make a list of 5 things I love about myself....but today it is difficult to come up with my list of 5 because today I hurt. Today I am a failure. I am insignificant and insufficient and broken and useless and...and...and...today I AM EMOTIONALLY WASTED.

There may be times in our lives when it seems like we keep having the same kinds of experiences. The situation or the people involved may be different each time, yet one experience may feel exactly like the last one and the one before that one. We may feel disappointed or frustrated and wonder why the same situations and people keep showing up in our lives. The truth is that the same kinds of experiences don't keep happening to us. After all, the circumstances and the people involved are always different. We keep having the same kinds of experiences.

And today...I see it happening again...the experience.


***

if he's trying to motivate me...

it ain't working...

yelling at me and telling me what i don't do and how selfish I am...

ain't working...

treating me like I'm a child...

ain't working...

because then I just get defensive, and clam up and act like a child...

I'm not changing the way I deal with him, if he wants to stay with me, he needs to change how he treats me, because what he's doing...

ain't working...

I'm already half way out the door...

my mind has already given up and my body is sure to follow...

No comments: