Time Away

It sucks being stuck some place you just don't want to be and being unable to see your way out of it! It sucks not being able to say to myself, OK, enough of this shit, smile and be happy damnit and have it work.

Why can't I just STOP thinking about being happy and just be happy? Pep talks are not working for me anymore! Diversions only last so long.

Then it all comes flashing back...

Head back and eyes closed. Feeling the wind blows across my face and the sun shining down on it.

That's what I need, that's what I want.

Today...

I need a place where the static is washed out with the sound of the ocean tides. A place where the least amount of clothes is the norm. A place where I can lose myself in nature's glory. A place where my worries melt away with each drop of sweat. A place where the only time I hear my own voice is when I'm ordering yet another drink...please?

All this restriction, all this confinement, all this stuff is wearing me down.

I need a vacation...

from myself!