Instruction Manual

I hate changing cellphones from time to time. It takes me really a long time to know how to use it and getting use to it.

All my friends, especially my brother and Yummy always tell me to read the Instruction Manual. That is something I don't do! He he he! I fall into the trial and error category...if it works, great, I guess it right, if it doesn't, damn the person who made the gadget, so user-unfriendly!

Then I wonder, what if humans has Operation/ Instruction Manuals, what would be mine? For sure, for Yummy it would be a dumb-proof, very short, easy-to-understand manual.

So if Yummy came with an instruction manual, it would be short and simple and as follows;

1. Feed him when he is hungry.
2. Always make sure there is coffee for him. He loves coffee when he gets cranky.
3. Always make sure he has clean shorts, undies and socks all the time. Lack thereof makes him panic.
4. Sleep with him. Give him a bj once in awhile!

Smile at him every once in awhile and he will flourish. That simple. And if he reads this, he must be laughing hard now, knowing this to be true.

On the other hand if I came with an instruction manual, it would be as thick as an encyclopedia and might have the following chapter headings;

1. Reading Her Mind: An Essentail Tool and A Guide To Survival
2. How To Tell What She Is Really Feeling, Thinking and Faking.
3. I'm Fine - What She Really Means By It
4. Right Answers To Difficult Questions
5. Why She Hates Repeating Herself
6. How To Respond When She Says...
7. When She Wants Something Done - Tricks Behind Timing
8. Do's and Dont's - It's That Times of the Month
9. Changing Her Mind- How To Plan For it
10. It Is Always Her Prerogative - Getting Used To It
11. Sex All The Time
12. She Can Paint The Sky Red Because She Knows It's Blue- Whatever She Means By It

This edition may need to be updated and expanded at least twice a year!

Maybe now you get the idea how complicated (difficult? bitchy? cute?) I am. :)