A Step at a Time

Life has bee in the slow-fast-slow-fast-slow lane....and whether you've noticed or not, I haven't blogged much.

So this week, things really came to a head, emotionally, for me. I don’t really know why - nothing’s really changed that drastically. Maybe it’s just the lack of sleep. But things has been full of crap and I have two things in constant - low grade fever and fatigue.

My relationship seems to be falling to shit once again.

I’m depressed.

I have health issues that I either can’t fix, or can’t afford to fix.

I’m angry at the stupid weather.

Work is killing me...not that I still care though.

Then I know once I again I need a break, need to go somewhere to see a different perspective of the world...then I miss Sydney.

I am processing my papers now. I will go there to study...maybe work a little too...whatever, I just have to go somewhere I can breath.

Wish me luck.

Shout Out

Wouldn't life be perfect if sweatpants were sexy, Monday mornings were fun, junk food was healthy, friends didn't cause drama, guys weren't confusing, nothing was regretable, and good-byes only meant until tomorrow?

I Have To Get Well

Today I'm so alarmed with how things are going with my body... It's true I have been sick, but suddenly, I realized that it's not only me, other people can get sick too, and that includes people I care, whom I just thought will be there to take care of me.

So, how do you take care of someone who is not feeling well too but is miles away from you? :(

I have to take care of myself I guess. I have to get well for some people.

And to the one I care who is miles away, please get well and take care! I hope to see you soon.

Sad, Funny and Pathetic

This is how I would describe my state right now.

Staying sick at home gave me a lot of realizations. I'm not searching for perfection, just a more content state or to content/ happy with how things are for most of the time. Emphasis on those last five words! Now, I am like torn between reality and redemption sort of thing...

I have two major issues right now.

1. Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
-This line can be applied to me either way. I am not more concern on being the option, but I sure feel guilty to the person whom I just made an option. I would like to clarify though that this was never clear to me until the past days. It's funny how we hurt people we care a lot about without knowing it. Sad but true most of the time. On not minding if I am just being one of his option sounds so pathetic to me. But reality bites.


2. One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.
-The saddest part is, I do not know when I will ever have the courage to say to these people what I think and how I feel. It's perhaps something to strive for, as long as the striving doe not make the striver (or strivee? duh! LOL) unbearably frustrated!

If at first you don't succeed...give up!!! (Nah...yes...maybe...LOL)

My Color?!

Yes, getting sick and staying at home with all your meds and nebulizer is far more stressful than being in the office beating a deadline.

So I took another online fun test, got this from another blogger.

What color is your soul painted? Black Your soul is painted the color black, which embodies the characteristics of modernity, formality, power, sophistication, elegance, wealth, mystery, style, anger, sadness, remorse, rebellion, loss, discord, confusion, and absorbing negativity. Black falls under the element of Earth, and symbolizes outer space and the universe, and in some cultures black represents fertility and wisdom. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests