The Weirdness of Reality

Weird barely describes this situation. I can't even find the right words although "mind fuck" comes close but has too much of a negative slant. It's not negative at all. However, it is almost painful to wrap my mind around. *sigh*

I've really just avoided looking at it directly. There were too many other tasks demanding my attention, but tonight there were dozens of moments that were bizarre, or sweet, or peaceful, or "huh"-like, or.... There were moments that sort of sucked me in and left me dangling between two different lives. Bittersweet.

Even though I know most of the pitfalls that surround me, and I'm avoiding those damn things like fuckin' grenades, I still don't know where to step. I'm just sorta stuck.

Or a better way to look at it might just be that I'm holding the line.