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Monday, April 27, 2009

Of Love and Marriage!

It's Monday morning here already...and I'm here back to doing my Busy Monday combining all three different memes making Mondays always Fun full of Music though sometimes Manic!

Fun Monday this week is hosted by Hoosier Girl of Coffee Table and her topic for this week is Love and Marriage. She said --

I have been married twice, once for 14 years, once for a year (long story, for those of you who don't know me). And now I am mid-40s, involved with a wonderful man, contemplating marriage for a third time. So what I want to know is: what do you consider important to a good marriage or relationship? Tell us a story of something endearing about your marriage or your parents' marriage. Include any wedding pictures or images of love that remind you of what a good relationship should be.

Well...I'm not married yet but soon to be! Sometimes I still sit and wonder what has made me finally say yes...when for more than half my life (I'm 29!) I never believed with it...yet I just have to mention here how blissful my parents' marriage is.

I have not much to share on the topic as I am still my way there yet allow me to share some of my tales of love...

I met the IT Guy in a business meeting about 7 years ago. It was on a Chinese New Year in an Italian restaurant. It Guy is very smart and for the record, unlike other engineers here he is quite conversational and can shift to different topics. He was 30 then and was single. Amazing to know that we have common friends which let us go out several night after that first meeting. One party we're together we got into this dare thing about sending flowers to men. No big deal for me I can send anything to anyone...was my statement. The next morning...he texted me something like...so where's my flowers?! I was like...oh my...did you dare me?! LOL

So I sent him 3 white roses that day...

Then a card the next day...

And some little something on each day that follows...

He was red at the office every morning! LOL Though we still get to see each other and talk on the phone this whole time he never told me to stop...

I almost got tired of it that after like 30 days I sent him a big card with all the receipts of the items I sent to him with a note saying I've spent so much already I need to collect!

Then I got a call from him and asked me if we can have dinner...sure thing we always go out with friends...then he said, not just us! I was like okay...will you pay me?! He just LOL

So there we are in that fancy restaurant having dinner...enjoying the chat and all. I almost forgot our little war joke when he got the bill and took his card and told me I'm paid!

I was like...oh my, the man of my dreams! LOL Honestly he got me there...rarely I met a guy who can keep up with my BS and he did...and that started our 6 year affair! ;)

What lasted us this long is the fact that we always communicate...pissed or sad we always tell each other our thoughts...silent treatment just don't exist in our relationship. I hate that...and cannot stand it. Shout at me if you will as long as we keep talking! :P Also we try to attack issues and issues only. We try not to bring insecurity issues get in the way and remember and remind ourselves if we have to, that whatever we argue about at the end of the day we are here for each other. Something like that! LOL

And last thing is that (and I know this will sound weird) we both believe in love as a decision more than a feeling. We decided many years ago to be here for each other and we will uphold that decision everyday...

People ask me why I love him...I don't know...all I know is I have him for some selfish reason. He makes me happy! If that is what love is then I love him...

And of course Monday is never complete without some Music to WARM our hearts, so here is Frank Sinatra's Love and Marriage!




Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you brother
You cant have one without the other

Love and marriage, love and marriage
Its an institute you cant disparage
Ask the local gentry
And they will say its elementary

Try, try, try to separate them
Its an illusion
Try, try, try, and you will only come
To this conclusion

Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
Dad was told by mother
You cant have one without the other


For more FUN...WARM (Manic)...and Music...please visit the following wonderful sites --


SMID for MUSIC Monday...

Coffee Table for Fun Monday...

Manic Meme for Manic Monday...


But the way, my new site on Beauty and Wellness is up. That is open to guest blogger and if you have anything to share related to the theme, just drop me a mail!



I wish you all a great week!

18 comments:

godsown said...

Happy mondy and blessings for the week Mariposa!

I put your blog now to follow and i did not regret this morning...Your Love/marriage story make me chukle and remember my own story with my dh's.....

Tak care
Bernice

More Than Conquerors said...

I like the statement "Love is a decision more than a feeling". How true! In good times and hard times, true love will stand by one another and work through difficulties together. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8). Thanks for stopping by and your prayers. I am not able to blog or visit regularly, but I missed you so. You are in my thoughts and prayers too. Take care and have a blessed week! Hugs, Nancie

Vinz aka Vinu said...

yeah,

love is being selfish.. :)
i liked that aspect of your story...

:)

karisma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hootin' Anni said...

Love and marriage is not synonymous as some think....at least that is my opinion. Marriage you learn to love AND hate. Sad, but true. There is no bliss in a marriage unless you can learn to have ALL emotions and feelings. Bud and I will celebrate 41 years together next month, and there is a thin line between the two emotions of love and hate. You, I'm sure, already have experienced them with your betrothed....you get mad, you get happy, you get sad, you get elated, you get scared....too many descriptions of marriage. [MHO]

margaret (the misanthrope) said...

Beautiful story, Mariposa. I totally agree with you - the silent treatment doesn't get ANYTHING accomplished. And I also really liked your thoughts, about how love is a decision vs. a feeling. I had never thought of it that way. Congratulations and best wishes on your marriage!

Sayre said...

All marriages have their highs and lows. During one of the lower parts of my parents' marriage, they went to a Marriage Encounter (a program run by the church) and the main thing they learned there was that love is a decision. Every day you get up and decide to love the person you're married to. And you explore the ways you can express that love every day. To this day, they still have a banner in their house that says:
LOVE IS A DECISION.

You and IT Guy seem to have a good foundation - you'll probably have a great marriage!

jill said...

thats a fun story on how you met!

Janis said...

You are so right that Love is a decision. Too many people think that if they dont see fireworks that it's not really Love. Sometimes love is so subtle you dont even realize it. Congratulations on your engagement. Much happiness to you both.

Gattina said...

I think you are on the best way for a good marriage ! Important is compromises, friendship, trust, and humour !
We too have fights like thunderstorms that the whole house trembles, but it comes quickly and is gone quickly, we both hate to put things under a carpet !

Thom said...

What a great song for Warm...excellent...have a great Manic Monday :)

anthonynorth said...

That's a great song - from someone who'll be celebratring his 32nd wedding anniversary this year.

Southern Sage said...

Well you know where I stand on the issue. It has to be a deal an agreement or it won't work.

Emotional decisions are poor decisions!

You should send your friend to the marriage contract post!

maryt/theteach said...

Great Mariposa, I wish you all the best on this marriage!! :)

The Church Lady said...

Best of luck to you in your future marriage. It is not always an easy road, but in the end it is nice to be able to share your life with your best friend.

Molly said...

You must have a very strong relationship with such a fun beginning. This statement may be a secret to a lasting relationship,"And last thing is that ...we both believe in love as a decision more than a feeling. We decided many years ago to be here for each other and we will uphold that decision everyday..." Besides, I think IT Guy has joined us for a Fun Monday or two so he must be wonderful.

Hoosier Girl said...

I love the story of all the little gifts! You were persistent, but fun!

I'll be back!

J.

Bobbie Leigh said...

That was such a great post! And the fact that you sent your guy a note with all the receipts was awesome, something I would do! LOL!