ss_blog_claim=5555364cf3e98c39578eb4fbc35f307a ss_blog_claim=5555364cf3e98c39578eb4fbc35f307a

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Research Terms Simplified

I have spent years in marketing research and it is not surprising that friends who are talking Masters come to me for help writing their papers...

One friend was ranting about the importance of research terms and why they have to be phrased in some ridiculous and annoying way. The talk got messed up that we end up choking ourselves in laughter.

Below is a translation of research terms...that my friend and I was talking about.

If you are planning of getting a Masters, you want to familiarize yourself with the following research terms, and their translations in plain English (in italics).

It is believed that...
I think.

It is generally believed that...
A couple of other people think so too.

It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon occurs...
I don't understand it.

It has long been known...
I didn't look up the original reference.

A definite trend is evident...
These data are all practically meaningless.

Of great theoretical and practical importance...
Interesting to me.

While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions...
An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study...
The results of the others didn't make any sense.

Typical results are shown...
The best results are shown.

These results will be shown in a subsequent report...
I might get around to this sometime if I'm pushed.

A careful analysis of obtainable data...
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.

It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field...
This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic.

Correct within an order of magnitude...
Wrong.

Note: Apparently this was originally published in a scientific journal article in the '50s!!!

12 comments:

Solomon Broad said...

It's comforting to know some things are the same the world over. :D

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

This was absolutely hysterical. Thanks for the post!

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. I was laughing when I was reading this. Thinking back, while I was writing my papers for English Language, some of these going through my mind as well but yet, we had to write it in an politically correct manner or the "academic manner"...

Anyway, love this the best.

Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study...
The results of the others didn't make any sense.

Tien said...

By the way, I made the anonymous comment. I accidentally hit "Enter" key before I would type in my name...

lizgwiz said...

Those are hilarious.

sid said...

LOL! Man I'm doing my Masters now and I will definitely be using these terms. Good one Mariposa.

bipolarlawyercook said...

Very funny. My husband and my SIL are in marketing and they joke about how meaningless stat data is all the time.

Al said...

If only I had known this BEFORE writing the thesis...
Ah, well, as long as I have that degree in hand.

My favorite (and likely most accurate) is about obtainable data and spilled beer.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

This is great! The Rosetta Stone of Masters language finally revealed for all the world to know.

Richard said...

The art of double speak is a science in it's own right. Now it expanded to cover "political correctness".

Vixen said...

Those really made me laugh. I am glad you shared them, it cheered me up!

Thanks for all your supportive comments to. It means the world to me.

WendyB said...

Hilarious. And true!