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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

European Announcement

People in the BLOG land, play attentions as this is a life changing announcement. Yes, very monumental indeed! The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".

Sivil servants will sertainly resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by z" and "w" by v.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect but actually from a non linear non subjective view point its more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly timy wimy...stuff....


BipolarLawyerCook said...

Zis is wikud funy. : )

Jen said...

I've seen this one before, but it's hysterical every time! Thanks for putting a smile on my face.

Momisodes said...

LOL! I zut I wus lozing my mind in ze end!

Thanks for the chuckle :)

Anonymous said...

This is really funny. The English language as a whole in written form is funny. :D

By the way, Mariposa, what happened to your passwords and documents in the end? Are you able to access them?

I wonder if you would like to do a tag? If you have done it before, feel free to leave me a link so I can visit. :)



Jan said...

Funny !!! I kind of got lost though..... LOL (((HUGS)))

LittlePea said...

Haha! You really had me for a second.

frog ponds rock... said...

Thankyou hehehe

cheers kim

Unknown said...

A big ball of wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey stuff? Doctor Who fan?

Isn't the language at the end just the new "texting" language? Wait, that's just acronyms, isn't it? IDK, IATHTR. ;)

Wholly Burble said...

Funny funny--I was actually thinking this would be good the first few "years" LOL.

Thanks for the giggles.